Sunday morning homily XXIV

Maybe I'm getting more conservative with each passing year, but I can certainly do without the highly suggestive Go Daddy commercials shown on the NHL Network. While watching the Loafs-Senators game last night, I had to tell Colin to quickly cover his ears as one aired.

Perhaps you've seen it. It's the one where one co-worker buys his buddy Dougie's domain name. Then Dougie's wife's. Then Dougie's dog's. Mercifully, Dougie, the offended party, so to speak, secures his mother's domain name. In celebration, Dougie tells his buddy that he already "did" his mother. See what I mean?

The commercial ends with a fetching young woman, who overheard Dougie's comment, disgustingly calling him a pervert. Unfortunately, Colin heard that part.

"Daddy, what's a pervert?"

Yeah, that's exactly what I wanted to do on a Saturday night.

My point goes beyond Colin's question, too. Look at the names and euphemisms being used. The poor guy's name last name is Humpas, hence the co-worker's registration of Mother Humpas. His dog's name is Mr. Winky. See what I mean? Again?

Trust me, I'm not being a prude. As I write this, the 15-year-old in me smiles at the sophomoric genius of the double entendre. I just wish the NHL Network would realize that kids watch these games. I'd rather have Colin watch a commercial for Bakugan or McDonald's than that nonsense.

It's one thing to run these commercials after 9 p.m., when most good little boys and girls are tucked in their beds. Running these spots before then, and putting parents across North America in one as well, shows a lack of awareness of the entire viewing market.

Can't wait. Can you?

If I didn't already have the day off, I'd use a vacation day or personal time this Wednesday to follow along with the wheelings and dealings of the NHL trade deadline. To hockey fans, it's like a national holiday, no matter where they live.

So, who will be the biggest name on the move? Ilya Kovalchuk? Marian Gaborik? Mark Recchi? Chris Pronger? Jay Bouwmeester? Tomas Kaberle?

Tell you what. Any NHL team needs a veteran defenseman, drop me a line. The pro-rated minimum works just fine.

5 Big Sigs

It's going to be a busy week here in Hockey Bay, as the Pittsburgh Penguins, St. Louis Blues and Carolina Hurricanes all pull into town:

~ Pittsburgh's Sidney Crosby on Colin's Crosby replica jersey;
~ Pittsburgh's Evgeni Malkin on Penguins and WJC-Russia pucks;
~ St. Louis' Keith Tkachuk on Blues, Winnipeg Jets and Boston University pucks
~ St. Louis' Patrik Berglund on a Blues puck and a 2008-09 Victory update rookie card; and
~ Carolina's Eric Staal on a 2008-09 O-Pee-Chee jumbo card.