The envelopes, please

After careful tabulations, double-blind accounting and pacts of secrecy authenticated by verification experts at the highest levels, the inaugural edition of the Hockey Bay Hounding Awards have finally arrived on the shores of Tampa Bay.

In the moments ahead, you'll find yourselves nodding in agreement, shrinking away in horror and, occasionally, shaking your head in disagreement. That's exactly what we're hoping for, at least.

Before we get to the winners, though, Hound Central 4.0 would like to thank everyone who has visited this chronicle of the 2008-09 hockey-hounding campaign. Using an incalculable payment of your free time, your presence and attention is the greatest reward we could ever receive. Again, thank you.

Now, let's see who's winning nothing more than a mention here at Hound Central 4.0:

Hound of the Year: Awarded to the hound who consistently racks up quality autographs on a diverse platform of memorabilia. Winner: Chris

Autograph of the Year: Awarded to the hound who scores an autograph from one of hockey's best players -- past or present -- during the course of a season. Winner: Ryan, for his team-signed picture, shown above, of Louie, the St. Louis Blues mascot.

Rookie of the Year: Awarded to a hound who excels in his/her first full Hockey Bay season. Winner: Ryan

Lifetime Achievement Award: Honors a veteran Hockey Bay hound for their dedication, knowledge and product of their efforts. Winner: Ron (Thanks, folks)

Best Supporting Hound: Awarded to the hound(s) who assists in the collection of autographs. Winner: Three-way tie -- Andy, Scott and Colin

Meatball of the Year: Awarded to a hound who displays a clear lack of thought and consideration toward his peers. Winner: Meatball

Best Original Score: Awarded to the hound obtaining an autograph(s) on a rare or peculiar piece of memorabilia. Winner: Jamie, for getting game-used sticks signed twice by each player. Don't ask me why, ask him.

NHL awards

Nicest NHL player: San Jose's Jeremy Roenick

Snottiest NHL player: Toronto's Curtis Joseph

Best-signing team: Dallas Stars

Worst-signing team: Washington Capitals

Best-dressed player: Atlanta's Garnet Exelby, for his fedora alone