Hot trade rumor

Just in case Ottawa Sun hockey columnist Bruce Garrioch, a master of trade rumors, Googles his name between now and Wednesday:

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

According to a well-placed source deep inside a secretive intelligence organization scattered across the four corners of hockey's cosmic universe, there's a major trade brewing between two Eastern Conference foes.

The source, who professes allegiance to neither team involved in the pending pre-NHL deadline day blockbuster, dutifully reports, without hesitation and little other confirmation, the deal to end all deals in the history of professional sports:

To Tampa Bay: Goaltender Carey Price and defensemen Andrei Markov and Mike Komisarek

To Montreal: Goaltender Olaf Kolzig and defensemen Andrej Meszaros and Paul Ranger

"Oh, yeah, this is a done deal. It's a win-win situation for both teams. Still, the Lightning might even get Chris Higgins as a sweetener," according to the official, who spoke in hushed tones on these extreme conditions of anonymity: untraceable satellite signals, 37-second tape delay and voice-scrambling technologies while wearing camouflage fatigues in a darkened room at an undisclosed location before face-changing cosmetic surgery.